ephemeral

i hate the transition phase.

i want to jump from the middle of my present, to the middle of my future.
from 24 to 87,
if i live that long. . .

i hate waiting for the inevitable but am enamoured with the idea of old age.
always have been.
skip all of the difficult decisions and disappointments, lonely longing and loss and slide straight into senility.

. . .but miss so much.
Love.
Learning.
Beauty.
Euphoria.
Music.
all to become instantaneous pinprick memories of life's past. when i'm 87.
all of life is suffering because they slip through our fingers
when we desire only to hold them eternally.