Yesterday I was having a great conversation with Sifu. I had done my testing (first test ever in Kung Fu) and went to watch the Habs game at the local bar after with my friends. I was really hungry but I'm not a big fan of bar food. I'm mostly vegetarian and have an affinity towards healthy food. . .not because I'm overly concerned with my diet, just because fried, unbalanced, cheesy, greasy food makes me feel shitty. . .generally. But that was all there was. . .and despite my hunger I mostly ended up drinking a lot of beer (contradictory to my health pitch above, I realize). Anyway, Sifu came to the bar into the second period of the game and we started talking about what we usually end up talking about: Taoism, philosophy, consciousness, chakras, the great one, all those kinds of things that can't really be articulated well, pretty interesting conversations!
The Kung Fu school also asked me to do a demonstration tomorrow of the form that I learned. I've only been learning the form for 4 weeks. Usually people don't pick up forms so quickly I guess and mine is not great, but they were impressed by the fact that I was able to go through the moves confidently despite my lack of training. As I understand it, Kung Fu takes a lifetime to master. . .perfection is not possible, because you need to be open-minded and always eager to learn more. You should always be willing to question everything you know and always accept that everything you know is wrong. It's the Kung Fu way of learning. . .it's also very hard for most people to really let go of everything they've learned, because eventually it requires you to let go of your ego and separation and. . .well, ya, literally everything. Not an easy task.
I noticed, during testing many of the female students had a lot of difficulty when their test was being done. When I worked with the same students during class, they were mostly fine. . .at least much better, but during testing they would lose much of their confidence and make a lot of errors. As a confident woman, I recognize that confident women are quite hard to come by. Women are put down all the time by lots of sources and if that's all you know, it's easy to be consumed by it. Everywhere you look there are ads, commercials, "friends", family, boyfriends, books, etc, telling you that you're not good enough and to be happy or attractive or whatever, you need to fit a certain image or mould that doesn't really exist. It's very hard to be a woman and be free of insecurities about your image, your self-worth, your actions, etc. There are very few positive role models who sincerely convey the message that it's ok to be exactly who you are and that loving yourself is key. I guess really the same argument can be made for any oppressed group and eventually it is important for the oppressed to free themselves mentally from these ideas and concepts. They only have as much power as you give them.
But a little push in the right direction never hurt anybody right?
So my demonstration tomorrow is to give a boost of confidence to a lot of the ladies that will be in attendance. Sifu thought it would help and be encouraging and I am absolutely on board if that is the reason (I normally wouldn't want to show-off but I have no problem doing it if he thinks it will influence others to have more confidence in themselves).
Another conversation that I had in my head yesterday and today as a result of yesterday was also somewhat of the feminist persuasion.
I try to be myself most of the time. I don't like putting on airs or pretending to be something I'm not. I also would ideally like to talk openly about sex but I feel that in some situations it's dangerous to do so as a woman (ok yes, obviously). I like to talk about sexuality to my female friends and male friends that I know and trust. . .but even then, they sometimes get the wrong idea and think that I'm talking about sex because I'm interested in them, or else why would I be bringing it up? The thing is, I like to challenge common ideas of sexuality. I get offended when words like "slut" and "whore" are used to describe women, for obvious reasons, but just in case it's not obvious to some people: I don't understand why there is such a negative connotation for females that enjoy having sex! Why must we be punished with this word that obviously has a very negative connotation for having multiple partners or not wanting to settle down or not being sure really what we want? Guys are the same way, but escape the name calling. It's the good old double standard that's been around since forever. It's stupid and unfair AND unrealistic.
I think it's necessary to call people out on this. I think it's necessary to push the envelope and say what may be considered outrageous or controversial or inappropriate. . .sometimes. If I'm not open about how I really feel when my guy friends are talking about how much they hate girls that don't shave 'down there' or question their word choices when they call a woman a "slut" or talk openly about how much I enjoy sex. . .then they will never know that they're being offensive. Their views, which I believe to be at least part of the reason that women are so insecure in the first place, need to be challenged. However, when I am open in my opinion of these things, I risk getting tagged as "a tease" or "easy" or maybe a "bitch". . .I dunno. Not that I really care what they think. I'm just trying to be free. I don't want to impress or manipulate or even sleep with them I just want to speak the truth. I'd appreciate it if it could be taken for just that instead of like a juicy steak being waved in front of a dog's face.
I think that's most of my rant. I'm starting Otesha in 3 days!
The Kung Fu school also asked me to do a demonstration tomorrow of the form that I learned. I've only been learning the form for 4 weeks. Usually people don't pick up forms so quickly I guess and mine is not great, but they were impressed by the fact that I was able to go through the moves confidently despite my lack of training. As I understand it, Kung Fu takes a lifetime to master. . .perfection is not possible, because you need to be open-minded and always eager to learn more. You should always be willing to question everything you know and always accept that everything you know is wrong. It's the Kung Fu way of learning. . .it's also very hard for most people to really let go of everything they've learned, because eventually it requires you to let go of your ego and separation and. . .well, ya, literally everything. Not an easy task.
I noticed, during testing many of the female students had a lot of difficulty when their test was being done. When I worked with the same students during class, they were mostly fine. . .at least much better, but during testing they would lose much of their confidence and make a lot of errors. As a confident woman, I recognize that confident women are quite hard to come by. Women are put down all the time by lots of sources and if that's all you know, it's easy to be consumed by it. Everywhere you look there are ads, commercials, "friends", family, boyfriends, books, etc, telling you that you're not good enough and to be happy or attractive or whatever, you need to fit a certain image or mould that doesn't really exist. It's very hard to be a woman and be free of insecurities about your image, your self-worth, your actions, etc. There are very few positive role models who sincerely convey the message that it's ok to be exactly who you are and that loving yourself is key. I guess really the same argument can be made for any oppressed group and eventually it is important for the oppressed to free themselves mentally from these ideas and concepts. They only have as much power as you give them.
But a little push in the right direction never hurt anybody right?
So my demonstration tomorrow is to give a boost of confidence to a lot of the ladies that will be in attendance. Sifu thought it would help and be encouraging and I am absolutely on board if that is the reason (I normally wouldn't want to show-off but I have no problem doing it if he thinks it will influence others to have more confidence in themselves).
Another conversation that I had in my head yesterday and today as a result of yesterday was also somewhat of the feminist persuasion.
I try to be myself most of the time. I don't like putting on airs or pretending to be something I'm not. I also would ideally like to talk openly about sex but I feel that in some situations it's dangerous to do so as a woman (ok yes, obviously). I like to talk about sexuality to my female friends and male friends that I know and trust. . .but even then, they sometimes get the wrong idea and think that I'm talking about sex because I'm interested in them, or else why would I be bringing it up? The thing is, I like to challenge common ideas of sexuality. I get offended when words like "slut" and "whore" are used to describe women, for obvious reasons, but just in case it's not obvious to some people: I don't understand why there is such a negative connotation for females that enjoy having sex! Why must we be punished with this word that obviously has a very negative connotation for having multiple partners or not wanting to settle down or not being sure really what we want? Guys are the same way, but escape the name calling. It's the good old double standard that's been around since forever. It's stupid and unfair AND unrealistic.
I think it's necessary to call people out on this. I think it's necessary to push the envelope and say what may be considered outrageous or controversial or inappropriate. . .sometimes. If I'm not open about how I really feel when my guy friends are talking about how much they hate girls that don't shave 'down there' or question their word choices when they call a woman a "slut" or talk openly about how much I enjoy sex. . .then they will never know that they're being offensive. Their views, which I believe to be at least part of the reason that women are so insecure in the first place, need to be challenged. However, when I am open in my opinion of these things, I risk getting tagged as "a tease" or "easy" or maybe a "bitch". . .I dunno. Not that I really care what they think. I'm just trying to be free. I don't want to impress or manipulate or even sleep with them I just want to speak the truth. I'd appreciate it if it could be taken for just that instead of like a juicy steak being waved in front of a dog's face.
I think that's most of my rant. I'm starting Otesha in 3 days!
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