Thursday, November 1, 2012

The Crossroads

Once upon a time, a woman stood at a crossroads.
She had become very brave and stood at the crossroads all alone.
She had spent much time and effort to get there. A place where she felt free to make whatever choice she wanted.
Finally, after so much compromise and hiding of her true self,
finally, after clearing away the cobwebs of self-doubt and negative judgement,
finally, she was able to make a decision she could be truly happy about;
from the core of her very being, out.

She had cast away the 'haters' and doubters, stopped caring about the status quo, burned the bridges to all of the mistakes of the past. 
She forged forward into less travelled territory, found like minded people, lovers, musicians, coaches, teachers, children.
She loved them all but soon felt the pressure and pain that their sweetness brought. It wasn't so different from what she'd cast away in the first place.

So she said farewell to her new friends too.
Swept the dust of self-indulgence and ego out of the room
and started over.
A blank slate. Truth. Herself.

Finally, she was at this crossroads.
No influence, no bias.
No right. No wrong.

She stared at each path.
They didn't appear so different from each other anymore.  One went one way and the other went the other way. . .
She couldn't decide which one to take.  She sat down in the middle of the path, helpless.

Soon, a group of travelling musicians walked up to her.
"Where are you going?" they asked.
"I don't know, I can't decide," she replied.
"We're going this way," they pointed to the right, "you're welcome to join us."
They seemed to know where they were going and having a lot of fun doing it.  But the woman didn't get up.
"I'm sorry but I have to decide things for myself."
"Ok. See you later." The group replied and walked on.

The woman continued sitting in silence for a long time.  She still couldn't decide what to do.  She was getting hungry and didn't know how much longer she could stay at the crossroads without eating but she had spent so much time casting off the cloak of others that to put it back on seemed silly.  There was no turning back now.

The sun was beginning to set when a bird swooped down and sat beside her.
The bird looked at her curiously and started singing a melody.  The woman listened intently to the bird's song.  It was beautiful, piercing the silence and her thoughts with pure, uninhibited expression and joy.  She smiled at the bird and bowed her head to him.

She got up and started humming a tune. There was no calculation or thought involved; an expression of the moment and emotion from deep within her.  She felt one foot move in front of the other, keeping rhythm with her heartbeat. . .
But she no longer knew in which direction she walked.

Angkor Wat, Siem Reap, Cambodia

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