5 problems faced when training a godzilla as a circus pet

Godzillas. Don't you just love them? Most people do, and that's why they have become so popular as circus animals around the world.

Anyone who has ever tried to train a Godzilla for their circus, however, has seen a very different side of the noble creature. Here we have compiled 5 common problems faced by Godzilla experts worldwide to show you the kind of ingenuity required by trainers to get them ready for the circus.

1. Godzillas are huge.
   This is the most obvious problem associated with Godzillas. They eat a lot because of their size and it requires a minimum of 100 skilled Godzillologists to train a Godzilla properly and keep it happy. Godzillologists must train for 5 years before they are certified to come into contact with Godzillas.
2. The snore of a Godzilla sounds like an air raid siren.
   This can cause alarm (no pun intended) and/or confusion for the residents living in the vicinity of the Godzilla's sleeping quarters. The snore is very loud so it is difficult to prevent people from hearing it. This is the main reason why you can only see Godzillas in very specialized circuses. They are the only ones able to afford the expensive technology that Godzillas need to sound proof their snore.
3. Godzillas are very critical of bad literature.
   Godzillas insist on being read to every night before they sleep. Literary studies and Godzilology go hand in hand for this reason. Godzilologists have spent much time studying the kind of literature that appeases the Godizilla and that which causes them to incinerate everything within a 500m radius. This research has usually been done with baby godzillas who are still small and unable to incinerate such large areas. Godzilllogists stick with the material that is well loved by Godzilla's world-wide. Their favourite authors seem to be those of the science fiction genre with a special admiration for the literary techniques of the otherwise unknown Mr. Kilgore Trout.
4. Godzillas see in the 4^th dimension.
   “That's SO cool!” you might say. Since humans are bound by 3 dimensions, at least at the moment, we can't really be sure what this is like nor can we verify that it's actually true. It theoretically means that Godzilla's can see through space and time which means they can see their entire lives and all of the events of the world from the time they were born until the time they die. Maybe even before and after that. We only suspect this to be true since they can suddenly disappear and reappear again later. This is obviously problematic because humans tend to run circuses at certain times and places and the Godzilla isn't always around. It does have a bright side, which is it saves a lot on transportation costs. Godzillologists have recently discovered how to communicate the next destination to Godzillas so that they can appear there sometime around the next performance. Of course, this doesn't always work out as planned by the humans.
5. Godzilla's are awfully patronizing.
   Since human kind has always held itself in such high regard, it is difficult for some, to meet a creature who can effortlessly transport itself into different times and spaces. And yet, the Godzilla participates willingly and probably knowingly in both training and performing at circuses, which would arguably be considered rather degrading. It seems to work out well for most involved, at least from a business point of view, but has caused a number of employees to question the meaning of life and subsequently suffer from different forms of neuroses and mental disorders.