Power Shifting to Truth

I haven't written anything recently to explicitly state my views on anything.
By recently, I mean probably in more than a year.
I find it hard to express specific views about most things because most of the time, I'm just not that certain.  There is a lot of uncertainty when you look deeply into issues and I'm not very good at looking into things any other way.
I have an incessant desire to find the heart of issues or to find the root or to find the truth.
The truth is not a straight forward thing.  The truth is messy.  Most of the time, I have no idea what it is, but it is always there.  It is at the centre of all the tension and arguments and disagreements.  It is like the eye of a hurricane, silently and calmly creating differing views and opinions to surround it.  Often creating massive destruction.
'Woah. Woah. Woah.  Are you bad talking 'the truth'?!?!' You might find yourself asking.
'No', I reply.  But I think it is very hard to find one truth. I think everyone has their own truth which may differ from others' truths.
'But isn't there a single underlying truth that is ultimate and undeniable?'
'You mean, like a God?'
'Well, maybe some people would look at an ultimate truth as God, but it doesn't necessarily have to be 'God', perse.  Just something that you know is right.'
'How do you know something is right?'
'I guess, sometimes you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach that something is right or you learn enough about it and so it seems obvious that one thing is right over another.'
'Such as?'
'Well, like when you lie.  Most people don't feel good about lying, even if it's a small lie.'
'Interesting. We're talking about lies already when we were talking about truth a minute ago.  But yes, it usually doesn't feel good to lie because we have some information that we know for a fact we are falsifying.  But I think rather than falsifying the information it's the impacts that lying has that makes it a problem.  The smallest lie can have a huge impact on the world. Can you imagine if you were the queen of the world and you lied about something as tiny as liking tea when really you found it horribly bitter?  Tea plantations would be set up all over the world in your name!  Tea brands would market their tea as your tea! The people of the world, forced (or genuinely) to show their admiration and respect for you, would drink tea enmasse!'
'So it's actually those little lies that make the hurricane.'
'What do you mean?'
'You start at the truth but you come into a world where there are lies everywhere. Basically, you're born into the hurricane. Then you get caught up in it. You start working with the lies instead of working against them and stop trying to get back to that point where the truth was, being totally true to yourself. The hurricane gets stronger and stronger and more and more convoluted'
'I suppose that could be.'
'But it could start with just one person.  One person makes one small lie and people believe them and this whole hurricane spirals out of control and eats North Eastern United States and Eastern Canada!!'
'Or one person could be totally true to themselves, unafraid of what anyone thinks, and have the counter reaction.'
'Just one truth?'
'Well, if one lie can have that effect, why not one truth?'
'So then truth is being true to yourself?'
'What is being true to yourself? Can you ever know that? How much of me or you was created by all of the people who we've ever met or talked to and how much of it was inborn?'
'The nature vs nurture debate.'
'Exactly. Together nature and nurture led us to this present moment where we exist.'
'Both are there simultaneously.'
'All of that biology and all of the people who have encountered you in any way are all there simultaneously inside of this present moment.  In that vein, the future, that will unfold after this present moment, is also already there, because you are creating it with whatever you do in this moment.'
'So the truth is everything all at once.'
'If you can put your mind around it.'
'I see what you mean about the truth being messy.'

My mind sometimes derails my writing like that, sorry.  I decided to just let it be hashed out rather than ignore it and not write anything.
But, if that made any sense to you, please let me know because I'm not even sure it makes total sense to me.
Anyway, it is because I have an inkling that truth is a multifaceted thing that I was very encouraged this past weekend by Power Shift 2012.  It wasn't perfect (is anything, ever?) and there was still a lot of representation missing, but the base of interested people is certainly growing.  Both in numbers and diversity, and that is extremely encouraging.
Now we can start talking about bigger issues and really get the juicy, messy debates going with a lot more of the stakeholders of the future at the table.
People are getting interested in this stuff and it's really exciting.  Mostly, it's exciting because we're starting to talk about systemic problems and challenging the underlying theories that have been used to reproduce and legitimize the status quo for a long time.
I think really, people are getting fed up.  More and more people are getting concerned about climate change (which I do believe is real, just for the record), they're getting scared because it's becoming less and less possible to deny, and simultaneously, they're seeing the government slash environmental regulations and protections.  There is an increasing disregard for indigenous rights and treaties, and increasing awareness that the tar sands are causing indigenous peoples a lot of harm.  Not to mention that it's an extremely energy intensive process that is not a long term or sustainable solution to help alleviate climate change.
People are understanding the weight of the situation we are in and seem to be waking up.  It's exciting because people are looking to young people and want to be involved.  It's exciting because a lot of young people, especially indigenous youth, seem to have a pretty good understanding of what the systemic issues are and how widespread they are.
But there is no easy or proposed one solution.  The thing is, that one solution doesn't really make sense.  There is no bandaid or quick fix to problems of this magnitude.  But I do know that solutions will involve building stronger and more robust communities, sharing information and knowledge and brainstorming.  They will take time investment, negotiation, team building and passion.  They will take creativity, innovation and honesty.
They will take all of us working together for our survival as a species.  If we are not all willing to stand up, in this present moment, our future is already written.

rain

Fuji Eco Park, Yamanashi, Japan

When it rains
as relief from the intense heat of the light
the whole world rejoices
except for machines
whose refined intricacies, exposed
rust away to uselessness.

Crisis of Civilization

spot on.

wake up, freak out and then get a grip!

Connect. The. Dots

We can be saved

If we build a bridge.
Not a tower or a bomb or a dam or a nuclear power plant.
If we build a bridge.
Not a riot or a genocide or a war or a conquest.
If we build a bridge.
Not a clear cutting or a mass poisoning or an extracting or a mining.
If we build a bridge.
Not a mass extinction.

A bridge that anyone can cross.  A bridge that is built by all of us.  7 billion+ strong.  It is built on a foundation of love with beams made of hope and courage and bolted together by trust, ingenuity, imagination and integrity.  A bridge that finally sees the preciousness of unique and each person's individuality as equal.  A bridge where diversity adds beauty and colour to the design.  A bridge that leads us from the banks of the status quo, over impossible to a new land we haven't yet seen. 

It's impossible.
If we don't work together.
It's impossible.
If we wait too long to realize the potential that is innate in each of us.
It's impossible.
If we're not willing to entertain the power of love to transform and heal.
It's impossible.
If we don't start with ourselves and start building our relationships with others.  Old and young.  Male and Female.  Conservative and Liberal.  Capitalists/Free-market advocates and Socialists/Communists.  White and Black and Red and Yellow.  Rural and Urban.  Christian and Muslim and Hindu and Buddhist and Jain and Sikh and etc.  We're all in this together.

This is personal.  This is global.  This is it.  Now or never.  Let's make it worth living for.

Ecological Flaw

Ok so let me get this straight.

We were born into a world with lungs which breath Oxygen to nourish our cells and pump blood through our bodies before turning it into Carbon dioxide and exhaling it.  The air was clean and full of everything we needed to breathe.

We were born into a world with abundant vegetation and wildlife that all work together to reproduce themselves, which may not always look harmonious close up, but have natural checks and balances to keep one species from growing out of control so that overall harmony is maintained.  We were able to eat all of that food directly, most without any cooking necessary (although most times it was preferable) to nourish and sustain ourselves for long periods of time.  Without any pesticides or chemicals.  Without any packages or preservatives.

We were born into a world that once had clean fresh water that makes up some 50-78% of our body and is essential for our survival, abundantly available to most of us for free.

But then. . .

We were born into a world that put prices on these things.
We were born into a world that makes us sound crazy when we demand these things for free.
We were born into a world that puts more and more pressure on farmers who are trying to provide these necessities to use chemicals and corporate products that in turn poison and pollute the water, animals, crops and air.
We were born into a world that made necessities less and less accessible to the common people.
We were born into a world that sees that natural world as separate, alien, wild, dangerous, old fashioned, backwards. . .
We were born into a world that valued things like gold, oil, diamonds, silver, money. . .none of which help us to survive.

If we have no clean water and no safe food and no clean air, it doesn't matter how much gold or silver or diamonds or iphones or cars or oil refineries or investments or gucci or prada you have.  You can't buy your way out of this.  All castles and all slums still exists on this planet.
This is everyone's problem.  If we don't collectively try to find solutions, we will all suffer the consequences.  They will touch everyone as all water and all air circulate to touch everyone around the world.  In our existence on this planet, we are one people.  The ability with which we can work together will determine whether or not we survive.  Let's put the necessities back on the table and start taking up stocks in fresh water, clean air and organic produce until they are so abundant they are worthless again.

Yes Men Rock

The yes men fix the world!!

This is a great, hilarious movie that gave me a lot of hope and laughs. . .both of which are important :)

Toxic Snapping Turtles

I read this article today about a ban on the hunting of Snapping Turtles in Ontario.  Snapping turtles can still be hunted by Ontarians that have a fishing license and because becoming a mature snapping turtle of about 20 years of age requires miraculous luck in the first place (0.07% make it in Algonquin Park where hunting is illegal!) hunting them at an undocumented rate may not be advisable.  Ok, I guess that's fine.

Oh wait, what' s this? “Nine of the 12 turtles that we had tested ... were at a level that was unsafe for any woman of childbearing age or any child under the age of 15,” Urquhart said of the PCB levels, noting three of the turtles were not safe for anyone to consume. “If you eat snapping turtles, because they live so long, it could be really hazardous to your health depending how old the turtle is and where you hunt from.”

That's from the same article in the Toronto Sun.  Interestingly, a number of other news sources reporting on the same story (some examples: 1, 2, 3)  failed to include anything about the PCB levels in the turtles and only mentioned the hunting issue and concerns for the species' extinction.

At least the issue of the turtle's toxicity is being mentioned in some articles, I guess.  But a very important point is being glossed over.  If you recall grade 9 science class, you may remember Bioamplification or Biomagnification.  In short, this is the process where the level of toxins in a living organism increases depending on where they sit in the food chain.  Usually the toxins like PCBs are present in the water or plants because of pollution from industrial waste, chemicals or agricultural run-off.  These toxins have adverse effects on all of the living organisms that come into contact with the pollutant but the severity magnifies up the food chain.  The adverse effects are most prominent in larger organisms because they eat smaller organisms who have eaten smaller organisms, etc. who have all been contaminated.

So, my concern is: if 9 out of 12 turtles were at a level that was unsafe for women of childbearing age and children under 15. . .3 of which were not safe for anyone to consume and snapping turtles have a life span exceeding 40 years (I realize that's not a concrete number). . .what kind of state is our fresh water in??  What does that mean for us who, in the past, on average, have lived for double that amount of time?  The article says that turtles don't face strict regulations like fish for consumption do. . .but it doesn't mean the fish come from better water or conditions, just that they don't live as long and aren't able to accumulate as many toxins.  For humans though, that generally live longer than both fish and snapping turtles, eat much more, especially with a growing obesity epidemic and are supposedly at the top of the food chain, I think there is reason for concern.

PCBs and Mercury (which were both present, though mercury wasn't at unacceptable levels) can lead to impaired functioning and birth defects.  The effects of toxins are amplified in the eggs of the mother and also concentrated in breast milk which is obviously detrimental to the development of a baby.  That means our babies or our children's babies if you are too old to have them at this point.

Yes, we should probably stop hunting snapping turtles.  We should also take better care of the environment and especially our water systems that sustain ecosystems, animals, plants (read FOOD and DRINKING WATER), run into the oceans and seas and keep all of us alive and healthy.

The level of toxicity in snapping turtles is scary.  It seems that putting a ban on hunting them won't change much if their habitat is already poisoned.  Why aren't we doing more to address this issue?

Pushed forcefully into now

All this climate change stuff and apocalypse stuff. . .ok, let's just say for argument's sake that it's going to happen.  Just for a minute, if you will, let your mind take you there.  I don't care if you want to actually believe it or not in real life, this is just a thought experiment.

So. . .ok. . .awesome.  How are you feeling?  Scared?  Angry?  Uneasy?  Justified?  Smug?  Excited?
What are you going to do now?  Buy lots of gold?  Stock up on food and build a secret underground bunker?  Start learning how to farm?  Move to the countryside and buy some guns?

Ok, sure.  Maybe those things will work. . .or maybe they won't.  Even if it were true, we still can't really predict what the outcome will be.  It's probable that a lot of people would die, it's probable that there would be food scarcity, at least for a while why we figured things out. . .and maybe there wouldn't be anything we could do anyway. . .even processed food has to come from real food that has grown on the earth at some point.  Healthy ecosystems are also important for growth. . .so we might be out of luck as far as both our knowledge and traditions go.

Anyway, you could start thinking really deeply about this and try to plan what you would do and maybe get paranoid and actually take steps to improve your situation if the worst case scenario DID occur and try to invest in gold and start growing your own food and/or stockpile food, build a time capsule, invent food that will withstand climate disaster, build earthquake proof and hurricane proof and etc. etc. proof shelters. . .go to war with others who might impede our survival by surviving. . .

wait a minute. . .doesn't all of that sound very similar to what we are all doing or passively participating in already??

My point is that most of us are living in the future.  We are living as if we are going to live until a distant time in the future that. . .logically. . .if we continue to live that way. . .we will never reach.  We put off things that we enjoy or that we love to do. . .things that fill us with love and laughter and life, because we believe that we will live until a time when we are better able to enjoy those things.  The situation will be better, we will be better, they will be better, things will improve and THEN we can do the things we want to do.  We can go to that place we've always wanted to go or do that thing we've always wanted to do or see those people we'd been meaning to see. . .

I believe that most people are scared at first, to face the present, because it is so vast and so full of unknown and also potential.  We are also trained to think. . .think think think think think think so we don't have any time to actually BE in the present.  To really be in the present you have to stop thinking. . .as soon as thought is involved you are transported out of the present to a different place.  Interestingly enough, the present is the only thing that really exists.  And yet, we're so disconnected from it, distracted by illusions of a future that will never come and a past that never was.  We can't see what's happening around us for what it is and be in that moment, the only place we actually have the power to act.

But anyway, back to climate change and the apocalypse and all of that.  I'm beginning to find those ideas liberating in a sense because if you take the "pessimistic" scientist's approach, we probably have about 5 years, maximum before we're in the "climate catastrophe" category. . .if we continue at our current rate.  Of course, this isn't REALLY as bad as it all sounds because the earth itself will be fine, it will just change drastically from what we know and make the way we are living currently, impossible.  We ourselves, or people we love would die, our lifestyle would be completely different, we would have to work together in order to have any chance of survival. . .probably.  Animal and human life may cease entirely. . .who knows. . .anything is possible really.  BUT ANYTHING IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE!  It is not JUST because of climate change or the apocalypse or Y2K or nuclear doomsday or aliens or WHATEVER. . .anything literally COULD happen at ANY TIME.  We could all die tomorrow or in an hour or December 21st 2012. 

So why are we doing things we hate doing?  STILL!?  You might die?  Or the future would become more uncertain??  Wait.  Really?!  The future is ALWAYS uncertain.  You ALWAYS might die.  Why don't you just do what you want to do?  Then, if you die, you won't ever regret it. . .no matter when it is! 

After thousands of years, thousands of books, thousands of prophets, scholars, artists, scientists, civilizations, politicians, historians, etc. etc. etc. , TECHNOLOGY!  We have access to all the information in the world (mostly!) at our fingertips (mostly!) and are we any better off REALLY than before?  we're still afraid, we're still not doing what we love to do.  We hate each other (which usually stems from fear. . .).  We're actually driving ourselves faster and faster towards our own destruction NOW that we have all of the information of our entire human history.  wtf is that??  If anything, it is a testament to the fact that WE WILL NEVER SATIATE OUR DESIRE TO KNOW.  There will always be an unknown.  And that I think, is actually the secret.

To know that you don't know and you will never know and be ok with that.  Now is as good as any other time.  Not knowing is the most intimate.  And if climate change and the apocalypse are the only things that can finally teach us that. . .to bring us back to wonder at the amazingness of simply being, to help us realize that being fully alive and awake in the present moment is all we need to overcome fear and realize our full potential. . .then bring it on.

You are free to resume your present thoughts and life, if you want to.  Go forth and love :)

Apocalypse Checklist

At least someone else is as concerned as I am.  Maybe concerned isn't exactly the right word.  Keeping an index doesn't necessarily mean concerned I guess.  It's probably just for attention anyway. . .but it's pretty funny and scary.  The future for bats in North America isn't looking very promising. . .If nothing else I think the Batpocalypse is upon us.

Also, Echkart Tolle's 'Uncourse' is pretty cool.  Can help you be where you need to be in the event of the above. . .hehe

In Response to Junkscience.com

I posted this comment to junkscience.com but it was removed. . .hmm

I came across your site by accident and feel compelled to reply. . .although I may regret it, I’m going to attempt to engage with this conversation which is, I’ll admit, contrary to what I believe.
I’m not anything. I’m not a scientist. I’m not a politician. I’m not religious. I have been inclined to believe in climate change and environmental sustainability as a direction we need to start pursuing but it’s never been for any gain to myself. I don’t have a lot of money, I don’t work for the government, a university, a political party or any kind of media. . .I don’t even have a job at the moment. It might be a bit easier to swallow something if I did. I guess I would need to swallow something in order to find a job worth doing and I’m having a lot of trouble with that. I agree with you that a lot of things that we are told have ulterior motives.
The motive is, you are right, largely making money, reproducing the status quo, keeping the rich rich and the poor poor. It’s hard to believe anything these days, especially since large corporations are usually the ones funding research and only certain results will warrant more funding (someone else said that above). Even a lot of “green initiatives” are only being considered if they are profit making mechanisms. I would agree that “green” in many situations, has been used as a marketing tool and at the end of the day, everything seems to be driven by making more money.
BUT, I have been many places. I cycled across Japan and Cambodia and Canada, I lived in India for 6 months, I lived in Honduras for 3 months and I just got back from Nigeria (I funded this largely with savings that I made while teaching English in Japan. . .I’m from a western country and white and went to university so I am privileged, and I won’t deny that but I funded these things by myself with money that I earned from working as an English teacher. I lived cheaply when I was travelling too so I didn’t incur a lot of expenses. I haven’t invested in the future or used this time to procure a “good job” but instead wanted to try to see things and understand the world from my own point of view rather than just what FOX news or CNN or in my case CBC or Sun media or a university very far removed from the situation is trying to tell me).
I have seen a lot of things that don’t give me hope for the future. I was told by Indians that the monsoon in India failed this year. Agriculture in India depends on the monsoon rains which come from June to September. Farms in Ontario were flooded last spring because of too much rain and the growing season had to start late (I don’t know how normal this is and exactly what effect it had, I just know that it was very muddy and prolonged planting since the fields were waterlogged for most of May). In Ontario, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing if the winter conditions are also less severe than normal (which they have been) because the growing season can be longer, potentially. But that’s speculation and Canada, not south where most of the major monoculture crops are currently being grown. South Western US and Mexico are having a massive drought currently. Since a lot of our food is imported from Mexico, I wonder what effect that’s going to have on food prices here. Not to mention the Mexican populace. Mexico is desert in a lot of places, so maybe “the worst drought in 70 years” won’t have much effect on food. . .but it concerns me. When I was in Honduras floods and excessive rains had a huge impact on bean crops and the cost of beans in the market nearly doubled for the year. These problems will effect the poorest people first, obviously and unfortunately, but no one can escape from food scarcity if climate and weather conditions are the cause behind them.
Drought and lack of water, clean, safe, drinking water is another thing that we can’t escape. Regardless of water regulations, companies are dumping chemicals into water systems constantly. Mining companies in Honduras, Guatemala, Peru, China. . .those are ones I know for a fact, it’s happening lots of other places too. Mining companies, who have the go ahead from governments do their mining out of the way of western, journalistic eyes as much as possible and assassinate or intimidate locals who are making too much of a fuss because their drinking water is giving them arsenic poisoning. In Nigeria, Shell has been destroying the homes and livelihoods of people living in the delta region for decades. They keep spilling oil, contaminating water, killing vegetation, with impunity because corporations, politicians and the fuel price are always more important than human lives. In each case, the bottom line is always more important than human lives. Especially if those humans are poor and can’t afford good lawyers.
I don’t have any doubt that climate change is happening and I don’t have any doubt that we are the cause. Our own stupidity is the cause. We’ve set up a system that is determined to make money by exploiting resources and people as if they are infinite when we live in a finite world. The people making the most money from this won’t change their practices because REAL SUSTAINABLE SOLUTIONS are not profitable for them and mean that we would have to depend on one another, which is exactly what our system has determined to be evil. Not to mention that we are divided on and suspicious about so many different issues that we can’t even talk to our own neighbours without breaking into a cold sweat.
Logically, if we are continuously pumping carbon into the air (from stores of carbon that have been buried underground in the form of oil) at faster and faster rates, there is going to be SOME effect, even if you disregard everything else. Trees and plants that eat the CO2 have been desecrated and destroyed to make room for more profitable residential areas, cash crops, the development of mines to extract one thing or another. Pumping CO2 back into the ground and burying it also buries oxygen which I’m not sure is very productive. But even if you want to take the “we-have-no-idea-because-it’s-too-big-and-we-can’t-trust-anyone-to-tell-us-the-truth” approach, it can’t be denied that everything is utterly interconnected. That is the basic underlying rule of our life on earth that really can’t be disputed. Everything we do, has an effect. The earth is round (surprise!), what we do to the earth doesn’t just disappear, it sticks around and effects everyone sooner or later.
I don’t think it’s useful to question and confuse people to make them inactive and apathetic to issues happening in the world regardless of your politics or viewpoints. What I’ve said above are really happening. I’m not trying to get rich quick, I really don’t have an agenda besides survival. I’m hopeful that we can overcome our differences, stop our greediness and selfishness and start taking action before we all regret that we didn’t.

I'm not saying I'm a creationist. . .

I'm really not at all.  I was thinking though. . .
Doesn't science kind of miss the point. . .literally?  I mean. . .ok, certainly science is really useful.  I have nothing (much) against science.  Knowing how things work is great when it comes to, say, helping our loved ones stay alive and maybe in some cases, how to get things done more efficiently and getting massive amounts of people from one location to another location or. . .lighting rooms. . .or. . .you know, lots of things.
But then when it comes down to it, science sure does spend a lot of time trying to answer unanswerable questions. . .and worst of all, it makes us stop wondering.
There's a certain age that children start asking lots of questions.  Everything that comes out of their mouth is a question.  Sometimes we can satisfy their questions, sometimes we can't.  Before they have words everything that they see is a mystery.  Imagine. . .before you knew a language. . .how would you have seen the world that was in front of you?  How much majesty and mystery inside every moment.  Nothing has yet been labeled good or bad, right or wrong, yes or no. . .everything just is exactly as it is.  There's this expansive blue thing with white things in it (of course none of that has language either) and a similarly expansive green thing with other brown and green things sticky vertically out of it or maybe giant triangular type shapes sticking out of the ground. . .cool!  There's no questioning because there's no language to divide it.  Perhaps the divisions aren't even there because nothing has yet been labeled as separate from one another. . .perhaps everything that you see, hear, smell, feel, before language, is one.
Then we learn language and are encouraged to separate EVERYTHING.  We divide and divide and label and label and try our best to understand everything so we can effectively communicate.  This expansive blue thing is called "the sky". It is blue because of some complex process of light from the sun being scattered by gas in the atmosphere and reflected as blue.  It is expansive because the place we live, earth, is really big and circular so it seems to expand in all directions all around us.  We can ask as many questions as we want and we can try to find as many answers as we want.  We are taught to do so.  We are rewarded when we have knowledge and answers for the questions and go to school and get degrees. . .but, we will never have all the answers.
Ultimately. . .there is no explanation for why?  Why a "sky", why an "earth", why a "universe", why "blue" and not, say. . .red. . .or ultraviolet?  Why this set of circumstances and not any other infinite number of possibilities?
There is no why.  It just is.
And when it "just is", and when "just as it is" is fully recognized and truly appreciated. . .even without all of the knowledge that goes behind it,  just as it is, is marvelously awesome.
Who needs TV when you can just watch the expansive blue thing with white things in it. . .just as it is?  And just wait til the sun goes down!!!

Job Searching. . .

I'm looking for a position that:

Pays at least moderately well.  You know, so I could say. . .rent an apartment and pay the necessary living expenses involved, have meals 3 times a day, travel home (or to another destination) on occasion, make bike repairs as needed, be able to go out with friends a couple times a week and save some for the future.

I desire to work in every day that I am required to work (or at the very least the majority of days I am required to work).  If work is going to require a large portion of my time, it follows that I should enjoy that work and certainly, will perform better if I do.

Doesn't require all of my time and energy.  Although I would like to be invested and feel a purpose for working in whatever position I may find (that satisfies my conditions, of course), what's the point of working to make money to work to make money to work to make money to work to make money etc. repeat until death or retirement?

Helps me to develop my skills and interests simultaneously, both personal and professional, whatever they may be.  In this category I would accept anything related to Japanese/English language, International experience and relations, cycling, reading, cooking delicious vegetarian/vegan food, organic farming. . .etc.

Doesn't directly OR indirectly harm people (be they in my country of employment or otherwise) OR the environment.  This can include a pension plan that is invested in companys/coorporations who are scrutinized for destroying the homelands/environment/living conditions of people and violating their basic human rights (even if they are not in the country in which I am working), extracting resources that are polluting the environment in the extraction process, following a long transportation, and thus CO2 emitting, line, not paying workers in the country of extraction fair wages or working to develop their local economy (and if the amount being paid to the country for their resources could be called "fair" but it is being eaten be government officials and/or their sons/daughters, it doesn't count).

Is committed to developing and investing in a sustainable future for all of the 7 billion people living on this earth.  A position that doesn't only exist because of the number of people it can exploit or have under it's finger or the forests and water tables that it's destroying.  A position that isn't just going along with "the way that it's always been" because "the way that it's always been" clearly does NOT work for the majority of 7 billion people nor will it work when natural resources (LIKE WATER!) which are already scarce for many, become non-existent/unusable for everyone.

Is fun and restores my faith in humanity and the world. . .

is that so much to ask?

Otesha Rap

This is the rap I wrote for Otesha. . .ended up using it as our intro a couple of times.

Enigma:
Hey yo, my names Enigma I got something to say
You see I joined this cycling food tour just the other day
2 months on bikes again, we started out on the first of May
same same but different ya know cuz we performing a play
Negative Newt:
Ya, sorry Enigma but you lost me this time
cycling, i get. but giving up life to mime?
not cool. and i heard they ain't gon' pay you a dime
you better grow up, stop this idealist shit, get in line.
Enigma:
alrite, sorry. no more negative newts on the track
bike toured before it's true but now i'm getting back
to my roots at home, i been away and got of track
in a good way. but still, gotta pull up slack
feeling kinda negative myself these days
when i see toronto from niagara covered in haze
no one invests in community less there's proof that it pays
maybe no one else sees the way we live as a craze
anyways, i think y'all feel me on that
i'm here cuz even one makes a huge impact
empower youth change the world. i mean it's practically fact
so what i want to achieve, ya let's move on to that.
i got lofty goals it's true, i don't wanna lie
educate bout implications. what you support when you buy
if you knew the whole truth you might just break down and cry
bout the processing that goes into each mcdonald's fry
but Enigma's been there and now she sees it differently
can't get anywhere if you feed fear and apathy
gotta hope. let your passion burn. love is the key
to make the shift from disparity into unity.

what?!

Creative Destruction

The end and the beginning.
Just finished the Otesha Phenomenal Food Tour yesterday and drove home with 3 of the lovely tour members to Niagara, via Toronto.
We left Ottawa and River Glen farm after a final breakfast together as a team and an appreciation circle where one person entered the circle and everyone had a minute to shout out amazing things about the person in the centre.

Superhero Day

Book Love: putting love messages in random books

Bike Love: Putting love messages on random bikes

The wonders of sidewalk chalk

Driving away from the faces that had become so familiar over the past 2 months was bittersweet. These wonderful people are my family. I love them and yet I know that for us to be together much longer in a group like this would impede our ability to branch out into the world and spread our knowledge, our love and our energy to everyone we know. It's much more effective to do that individually or in smaller groups than as a large and somehow intimidating group of amazing, confident, inspiring people. It can be difficult for the uninitiated to feel comfortable right away being stinky, or growing armpit hair (and talking about it every debrief), drying underwear anywhere and everywhere, skinny dipping, having constant lentil farts and performing in front of large audiences. That's understandable. It doesn't happen right away. . .but hopefully we can all strive to create a more judgement free, comfortable and loving atmosphere for everyone we meet, so we can nurture their talents, their inner strength and help them to realize how amazing they are too. We can create our own groups in our respective communities and spread the Otesha jam even further :)

And so it ends.

Finish: Ottawa

Yesterday I picked up my passport from the Indian Visa services. Visa, plane and train ticket. . .that's happening too. I can't believe that in a mere 2 days I will be on a plane to India, to a new experience and a new chapter of my life. It gets pretty overwhelming if I think about it too much.  However, I trust that it will be the experience that I need and whatever happens and comes of the trip, will be extremely worthwhile. Definitely a new test of my 氣 tho.
It's not to say that I'm not conflicted. I want to learn and try to do what I can to help the situation. That being said, I don't currently know the situation I will be working in or trying to help. I think a lot of "international development" (the term itself makes me uneasy. . .what exactly is it we're trying to develop anyway? what does development even mean? etc.) initiatives are seriously flawed in that, they are not well thought out, context based or sustainable much of the time. I know that going to India and volunteering myself is not equal to help, it could in fact, cause more harm than good. So my first priority is to learn as much as possible about the situation, the history, the politics, the language, the religion, the people, everything!! until I can better identify where my presence would be most useful.
Another conflict is the fact that I'm leaving Canada again. There is so much here that I could be doing too! There are so many issues and so many initiatives that are so awesome (as I just found out on the Phenomenal Food Tour!) that would be great to get more involved in. There are some really great people that I met and reconnected with during the tour that are doing really exciting and amazing things. Why leave your own situation when you can make change right here, right now? Not only that, but I DO know the context and I DO speak the language (well, at least one of them :S Still need to work on French) and I actually COULD be effective much sooner!!

I consider this. If I changed my mind and just didn't go to India. . .I would save a lot of money. . .I wouldn't need to be in such a rush or be sad to be leaving my new and old friends, family, life, bicycle, copious amounts of Canadian music shows that I love, winter, maple syrup. I could find work with an environmental organization or fight for the rights of those whose voices are often silenced in Canada. . .I could build a better community in Niagara, grow a garden in my backyard, move to Kensington with my friend who has a spare bedroom in a few months. . .I don't need to go to India at all to do things that I want to do.

But my guiding voice says otherwise.
I'm being pulled, forcefully, magnetically, unavoidably. To cancel my trip seems like the harder choice at this point, even though cancelling would seem to make my life much easier. So I throw myself into the world with few strong connections, few plans, and an extreme amount of energy and curiosity. Come what may.

In an interstellar blast, I'm back to save the universe! :)

Krazy Kingston.

Hello fine folks on my list of fine folks to mail random happenings in my life to!! :)

How are you doing?! I've dropped the ball on updating what's going on on our tour, yet again. . .but I assure you it has been:
jam-packed full of awesomeness, inspiring, informative, FUN, fantastic, super, I could go on.

A Goat in a Boat - Happy Farm

I believe I left off in Drayton? Wow. So much has happened since then that it seems like a number of years ago almost! Since then we've done a number of performances at a number of schools, we've been to a few farms (Vickie's Veggies, Happy Farm, Lunar Rhythms Garden) and intentional communities and have learned a little bit more about the alternative agricultural practices and community initiatives that are happening around Southern Ontario.

Bathroom Sink Laundering and Natural Drying

We also had our mid tour retreat last week in Peterborough which was great. We had some unscheduled (initially!) group time to discuss issues that we hadn't previously had a whole lot of time to get to and were able to tighten the cables and lube the chains. . .so to speak. We also had long-awaited access (and time!) to showers, laundering facilities and internet!!!!; daily luxuries that you take for granted when not on a fantastic Otesha tour across Ontario. Before the tour I remember Katrina, one of our guides mentioning that we may decide to take on challenges as a group, like, not showering for a week to conserve water. Before the tour, I thought that was a little extreme. . .now, however it has become almost common place for the whole team.
We simply don't have access to showers all the time and don't always want to be imposing on our amazing hosts to provide showers for all 15 of us! We do stagger our showers though (turn the water on and off between soaping and rinsing) to make sure that there is as little water waste as possible and occasionally substitute showers with swims in random creeks/lakes/rivers enroute. And of course there are always bathroom sinks.

Right now we are in Kingston. It's really weird to be back in the city I lived in for University. EVEN WEIRDER is that Danielle lives in the same house I lived in when I was here as a student!!!!! WHAT!? We've been staying in my old house for the past couple of nights and will be heading to Battersea tomorrow. I'm excited for the last 2 weeks! They're going to be AMAZING :D

Play practice outside my old house!

We made it to Drayton!

Hello from Drayton!

Start: Hidden Acres Farm

Sorry for the lack of correspondence thus far! Our first 3-ish weeks have been jam-packed (haha Otesha inside-joke) with training, performances, biking, meetings, sharing feelings circles, and not a lot of time. . .especially time combined with internet! Hopefully that trend will not continue for the rest of the tour!
My new Otesha team (family) of 14 and I just rolled in to Ploughshare farms in Drayton yesterday evening. Today we are at Drayton Heights Public School where they are talking about "The Power of Positive Choices" and are trying to fight bullying. We did our Otesha play in the morning and are doing 3 workshops this afternoon. After that we're heading back to the farm for a few days for a workshare (we'll be exchanging farm work for a place to stay) and our next rest day! Hurray!

 The last 3 weeks have been pretty amazing and inspiring but also quite challenging and busy. We met in Kitchener on May 1st and cycled 30k to New Hamburg where we stayed for the first week at Hidden Acres Camp getting to know each other and training with Katrina and Matt from the Otesha Office. We had a full week of wonderful workshops on such wonderful themes as bike maintenance, media kung-fu, safety, consensus decision making and of course the play! We also developed a "food mandate" that we are trying to follow so that we are all more conscious of our food choices and eating in an environmentally sustainable way as well.

The 2011 Otesha Phenomenal Food Tour!

We decided collectively to adopt a vegan diet for our communal cooking with vegetarian options (eggs and milk products) when we are relatively certain that the animal products are being procured by ethical and sustainable methods. So far we've had eggs from Plan B Organic Farm and we're excited to check out Mapleton's Organic Dairy later today for ice cream!! It has been difficult to suddenly switch to a vegan diet for some of the team members and the group has been trying out different things to make the food mandate work for everyone. Everyone is free to buy whatever they want with their own money but we are mainly trying to be more conscious of our decisions with respect to food. We've decided that no one is to be a "judgement jaguar", so everyone has been very accepting, supportive and accommodating to personal needs as well. Another difficulty we have encountered is accepting food from some of the wonderful hosts we've had. Some of our hosts have been planning events for us for months and we only just developed our food mandate 3 weeks ago so it is sometimes hard for us to get the message clearly to hosts that want to provide us with food. We are still working out the details of how we handle food that doesn't fit into our mandate that has been generously donated to us by our hosts. Although, personally, I think it's most important that we have the opportunity to open up discussion about our food choices and why we've chosen the food mandate that we have.
Last week was our first week on the road and we covered about 350km! We went first to Plan B farm, then to Ancaster Highschool for a few performances and to the Boys and Girls club for the night. The next day we had 2 performances at St. Thomas More Catholic Secondary School which went great! Afterwards though, we're still not sure why but a number of team members got sick and were unable to ride the 65km to Acton. We decided to rent a car to transport the 3 of us (Elise, Alyssa and I with Sam driving) to the next location while the rest of the team rode. By the time we all got to the destination another 3 or 4 team members had also become ill. Fortunately though, most of us were better by the next day where we went to Acton Highschool to participate in their water symposium. Then we had a couple of days of riding to Balidifad and then Toronto for a much needed rest day before the Organic Affair!

Outside of the house bus

Inside of Plan B's house bus!

friends forever

The Organic affair was at the Brickworks in Toronto which is an amazing space! We went on a tour where we learned about all of the amazing things they're doing with the old Brick factory and put on a 15 minute of our performance for the first ever time where an Otesha tour has actually been able to attend the Organic Affair (a bi-annual Otesha fund-raising event). The Organic Affair was great with lots of great people, speeches, and delicious brownies!!! We also met up with the Mammalian Diving Reflex, which is an organization very hard to define but are doing really interesting things with art as a tool for social change. One thing they do is called "Social Acupuncture"; they find contradicting ideas in normal society and making them happen (?) like haircuts by children! Check out the link above for more information, they have some super cool ideas!
After leaving Toronto we headed towards Etobicoke to Thistletown Collegiate Institute for a performance and then back in the direction of Waterloo (!?!?! haha). We went through Guelph to Ignatius Farm where we camped on the lawn for the night and had some delicious tea with the interns working there for the season. The next day we headed off to the University of Waterloo for a dry night in the residence and the next day, a 3 hour CanBike training session and another performance and workshop with the amazing Waterloo Unlimited Grade 10 students in the evening. We did 2 performances the next morning at Waterloo Collegiate Institute and then cycled a beautiful 60k to Drayton where we are now!

So I think that sums up our busy schedule so far. We've also had various rotating roles that we've had to fulfil in our group (some examples: meeting facilitator, time wolf, waste management, gratitude giver, etc.) and rotating cooking groups that are responsible for our food during the day.In all, we're getting to know each other a LOT better, getting better and stronger on our bikes, becoming more efficient working as a team and learning a lot through our collective experiences and tour stops about food, sustainability and the power of positive choices! Now all we need is SUN!!

Weeding at Ploughshare

OTESHA!!!

OTESHA OTESHA OTESHA OTESHA

Starts TOMORROW~!!!!!!!!

Perth - Gracias 2010: Canada World Youth Adventure Finale

Wow.  The program is over!!!  We've all gone back to our respective countries, cities, families, lives prior to the program!  It's been a long time coming and I'm sorry about the delay but I think I owe the avid readers of my journey one last update to bring everything together.  Sorry it's so overdue!!  The last couple of weeks of the program were really busy and I didn't have much time for writing a final update until NOW!
Mid - Project Camp:
We had a great mid-project camp just outside of Gracias.  Erin ran an excellent workshop focused on Gender and Equality to expand our views and think critically about the harmfulness of gender stereo-types. Jon ran an activity to improve our group dynamic by having each member of the group sit for 10min with each other member of the group to give critical feedback.  Laura ran a workshop on the issues involved in international development and had us participate in a community development vs international development debate.  The main arguments for community development being that the community knew best what the community needed and would do better to work for and amongst themselves to make improvement rather than become dependent on outside aid.  International Development on the other hand can often bring finances, studies, technologies, etc that may not be available to the community.
Xmas:
For Xmas we were allowed to leave Gracias to travel with our counterparts to their hometowns.  I went with Gaby to Siguatepeque which is where she currently lives and Lago de Yojoa which is where her family is from.  We mostly hung around the house. . .although I persuaded Gaby to climb a small mountain with me one day :)  Lago de Yojoa was really beautiful and small.  Getting to know Gaby's family was also a really nice experience.  Her Dad speaks English very well and her Mom also understands. . .which wasn't really helpful for learning Spanish, but certainly made it easier to communicate.  In Honduras family gatherings and special occasions are usually marked by the making of Tamales (corn flour stuffed with a bunch of things> meat, rice, vegetables and steamed).  Xmas is celebrated at 12am on the 25th by hugging everyone in the vicinity and setting off masses of fireworks!  It's kind of scary.  We returned back to Gracias on the 26th.
New Year's:
On the 31st we celebrated with our host family another Honduran tradition which I didn't understand at the time.  Usually our host family ate very late at night (usually around 9 or 10pm)  So I was expecting to eat around that time, as usual.  However, after 10:30 I was getting really hungry and a bit annoyed because we had to wait for dinner to go out to meet our friends.  Finally we figured out that our family was waiting until 12am to eat dinner!  It turns out that there is a tradition, or belief that you should wait until midnight to do something that you want to ensure for the following year.  So, for example, if you would like to travel in the new year, you should pack up your suitcase and walk around the block with it at 12am!  In our case, our family wanted to ensure that they had a lot of delicious food coming to them in 2011.  Worth waiting for, I think!
EADs and Group Activities:
The next Monday (3rd) was Javier and Jon's EAD where they focused on needs and wants and it's relationship to Quality of Life and Standard of Living.  We also watched a documentary about international development in Nicaragua.

Group excursion to Celaque

That week we were back at work which for Julia and I meant planning an activity for our debriefing!  But I'll get to that later.  That weekend we went as one of our final group activites to Termas de Rio just outside of Gracias which is another Hot Spring location.  It has a bunch of pools of increasingly hot temperatures with one really hot one, onsen style (like in Japan) and I was excited by that!  We had a really good time there together and I got pretty sunburned. . .but it was super fun!  The next day most of us went on a 2 hour short hike up Celaque, the highest mountain in Honduras.  Gracias is at the base of Celaque, so we had an amazing view of this mountain throughout our stay in Honduras, but this was the first time we were actually able to climb it.  We didn't get anywhere near the top as we didn't have enough time and not all members of our group were keen on climbing. . .but hiking for a day was a lot of fun.  We went slowly and took in a lot of scenery while singing a lot of Bob Marley, thanks to Juan Carlos.
The next day we had another EAD by Marie-Filote and Marlon to give a more in depth look at the politics of Honduras.
That week we finished our work projects and had our 8pm curfew extended so we could watch movies and sing karaoke on week nights as a group! yay!  All the while Julie and Dayana were working hard (the rest of the group also helped!) to organize a charity concert set for Saturday.  The concert was put on in the fort to raise money for underprivileged children in Gracias.  We had Nelson Pavon (a "Resistencia" protest musician), a local band from Gracias, and DJ Angel from Tegucigalpa.  The concert didn't attract as many people as we would have liked, but it still went well.  Some of the attendees were upset by the political ideas of Nelson Pavon and left early, which was unfortunate but was a good learning experience for us.  The concert ended a bit early because some people were drinking in the parking lot and the police were advising us to end it.
The next day we went to a small community in the mountains to do surveys for the sector project of ASONOG and CWY.  We had to interview women from the community to find out what their knowledge was about different issues regarding health and nutrition, reproductive health and hygiene.  The information will be collected and analyzed by the 2 organizations to determine what kinds of development projects would be suitable for the regions we surveyed.  Unfortunately we ran out of time and had to delegate an organization in Gracias to complete the surveys for us.
Debriefing and farewells:

Farewell Party

The last week of the exchange we did some debriefing activities so we could start to analyze our experience and think about how we will communicate it to people back home.  We want to make sure that we are not creating stereotypes or generalizations as much as possible while educating and sharing what we learned.  This can be very difficult, especially when few people really want to listen to every detail and the entire story of your experience.
And in no time at all we were having our community thank you dinner.  Saying thank you to our host families and the community of Gracias, giving thank you gifts to our counterparts and project supervisors, crying a lot and saying good bye.  We left Gracias on the morning of the 22nd after tearful goodbyes from our host Mom and Dad and sisters (our little host brother refused to get out of bed and was too sleepy to cry!!).  In Santa Rosa we met up with the other CWY groups and made the final split from our Honduran counterparts.  Everyone cried.  I even shed a tear!  It was a really sad hour between when we got to Santa Rosa and when we left for San Pedro Sula.

Que Lindos <3

The Canadians all spent the night in San Pedro Sula, sharing shocking rule-breaking stories from the exchange and reflecting on the good times we spent together.  The next morning at 4:30am we left for the airport and while checking in we heard a horrific scream from the front of the airport.  When we all turned to look we saw our HONDURAN COUNTERPARTS running in!!!!!!!!!  They had lied that they wouldn't be able to come to see us off so that they would be able to surprise us at the airport!  sneaky!!!  So we had another picture and crying session before we left to get on the plane.  It was a really nice surprise :)
Back in the Motherland:
Back in Canada on the 23rd we were ROCKED by the -20 C temperature outside the airport!!!  Winter in Canada is COLD!  We had 3 days of debriefing in the hotel airport with Tracy, who coincidentally also ran our training before we started the exchange.  It was a really interesting session that helped us to reflect on the exchange and put the skills and knowledge we had gained from our experience into more concrete terms (that would be helpful for interviews and employment).  Alot came out in debriefing as well about our group and things that had been going on behind the scenes.  There was a lot of drama that was previously unknown to everyone that was finally shared with the Canadians.  I think this allowed for a lot of closure and a lot of realizations about why some things happened the way they did.
Personal Reflections:
For me, the CWY experience was amazing all in all.  I watched a lot of people go through the experience and come out as much more informed, confident and stronger individuals.  We learned to work and live and think as a group, but even more, as a family.  It sounds kind of sentimental, but it's really true.  I believe that the CWY experience is a kind of paradigm for the world we live in.  We are all a part of it and we all play an important role and are equally responsible for making it work in a harmonious way.  All of our actions are connected.  There are limits on what we can and can't do and if we push them too much (like the environment currently), there will be consequences that will affect everyone.  When we think only of ourselves and fail to think of the impact our action will have on others everyone suffers.  When we push our boundaries and leave our comfort zones far behind, we will surprise ourselves of what we are capable of.

No Siesta! Just Fiesta!

Our family's pet Watusa!

I strongly encourage anyone who is still eligible to apply and participate in Canada World Youth!!!  It's a great experience.

and in the infamous words of our Perth-Gracias group: NO SIESTA! JUST FIESTA!!! :)