The end and the beginning.
Just finished the Otesha Phenomenal Food Tour yesterday and drove home with 3 of the lovely tour members to Niagara, via Toronto.
We left Ottawa and River Glen farm after a final breakfast together as a team and an appreciation circle where one person entered the circle and everyone had a minute to shout out amazing things about the person in the centre.
Driving away from the faces that had become so familiar over the past 2 months was bittersweet. These wonderful people are my family. I love them and yet I know that for us to be together much longer in a group like this would impede our ability to branch out into the world and spread our knowledge, our love and our energy to everyone we know. It's much more effective to do that individually or in smaller groups than as a large and somehow intimidating group of amazing, confident, inspiring people. It can be difficult for the uninitiated to feel comfortable right away being stinky, or growing armpit hair (and talking about it every debrief), drying underwear anywhere and everywhere, skinny dipping, having constant lentil farts and performing in front of large audiences. That's understandable. It doesn't happen right away. . .but hopefully we can all strive to create a more judgement free, comfortable and loving atmosphere for everyone we meet, so we can nurture their talents, their inner strength and help them to realize how amazing they are too. We can create our own groups in our respective communities and spread the Otesha jam even further :)
And so it ends.
Yesterday I picked up my passport from the Indian Visa services. Visa, plane and train ticket. . .that's happening too. I can't believe that in a mere 2 days I will be on a plane to India, to a new experience and a new chapter of my life. It gets pretty overwhelming if I think about it too much. However, I trust that it will be the experience that I need and whatever happens and comes of the trip, will be extremely worthwhile. Definitely a new test of my 氣 tho.
It's not to say that I'm not conflicted. I want to learn and try to do what I can to help the situation. That being said, I don't currently know the situation I will be working in or trying to help. I think a lot of "international development" (the term itself makes me uneasy. . .what exactly is it we're trying to develop anyway? what does development even mean? etc.) initiatives are seriously flawed in that, they are not well thought out, context based or sustainable much of the time. I know that going to India and volunteering myself is not equal to help, it could in fact, cause more harm than good. So my first priority is to learn as much as possible about the situation, the history, the politics, the language, the religion, the people, everything!! until I can better identify where my presence would be most useful.
Another conflict is the fact that I'm leaving Canada again. There is so much here that I could be doing too! There are so many issues and so many initiatives that are so awesome (as I just found out on the Phenomenal Food Tour!) that would be great to get more involved in. There are some really great people that I met and reconnected with during the tour that are doing really exciting and amazing things. Why leave your own situation when you can make change right here, right now? Not only that, but I DO know the context and I DO speak the language (well, at least one of them :S Still need to work on French) and I actually COULD be effective much sooner!!
I consider this. If I changed my mind and just didn't go to India. . .I would save a lot of money. . .I wouldn't need to be in such a rush or be sad to be leaving my new and old friends, family, life, bicycle, copious amounts of Canadian music shows that I love, winter, maple syrup. I could find work with an environmental organization or fight for the rights of those whose voices are often silenced in Canada. . .I could build a better community in Niagara, grow a garden in my backyard, move to Kensington with my friend who has a spare bedroom in a few months. . .I don't need to go to India at all to do things that I want to do.
But my guiding voice says otherwise.
I'm being pulled, forcefully, magnetically, unavoidably. To cancel my trip seems like the harder choice at this point, even though cancelling would seem to make my life much easier. So I throw myself into the world with few strong connections, few plans, and an extreme amount of energy and curiosity. Come what may.
In an interstellar blast, I'm back to save the universe! :)
Just finished the Otesha Phenomenal Food Tour yesterday and drove home with 3 of the lovely tour members to Niagara, via Toronto.
We left Ottawa and River Glen farm after a final breakfast together as a team and an appreciation circle where one person entered the circle and everyone had a minute to shout out amazing things about the person in the centre.
 |
| Superhero Day |
 |
| Book Love: putting love messages in random books |
 |
| Bike Love: Putting love messages on random bikes |
 |
| The wonders of sidewalk chalk |
And so it ends.
 |
| Finish: Ottawa |
Yesterday I picked up my passport from the Indian Visa services. Visa, plane and train ticket. . .that's happening too. I can't believe that in a mere 2 days I will be on a plane to India, to a new experience and a new chapter of my life. It gets pretty overwhelming if I think about it too much. However, I trust that it will be the experience that I need and whatever happens and comes of the trip, will be extremely worthwhile. Definitely a new test of my 氣 tho.
It's not to say that I'm not conflicted. I want to learn and try to do what I can to help the situation. That being said, I don't currently know the situation I will be working in or trying to help. I think a lot of "international development" (the term itself makes me uneasy. . .what exactly is it we're trying to develop anyway? what does development even mean? etc.) initiatives are seriously flawed in that, they are not well thought out, context based or sustainable much of the time. I know that going to India and volunteering myself is not equal to help, it could in fact, cause more harm than good. So my first priority is to learn as much as possible about the situation, the history, the politics, the language, the religion, the people, everything!! until I can better identify where my presence would be most useful.
Another conflict is the fact that I'm leaving Canada again. There is so much here that I could be doing too! There are so many issues and so many initiatives that are so awesome (as I just found out on the Phenomenal Food Tour!) that would be great to get more involved in. There are some really great people that I met and reconnected with during the tour that are doing really exciting and amazing things. Why leave your own situation when you can make change right here, right now? Not only that, but I DO know the context and I DO speak the language (well, at least one of them :S Still need to work on French) and I actually COULD be effective much sooner!!
I consider this. If I changed my mind and just didn't go to India. . .I would save a lot of money. . .I wouldn't need to be in such a rush or be sad to be leaving my new and old friends, family, life, bicycle, copious amounts of Canadian music shows that I love, winter, maple syrup. I could find work with an environmental organization or fight for the rights of those whose voices are often silenced in Canada. . .I could build a better community in Niagara, grow a garden in my backyard, move to Kensington with my friend who has a spare bedroom in a few months. . .I don't need to go to India at all to do things that I want to do.
But my guiding voice says otherwise.
I'm being pulled, forcefully, magnetically, unavoidably. To cancel my trip seems like the harder choice at this point, even though cancelling would seem to make my life much easier. So I throw myself into the world with few strong connections, few plans, and an extreme amount of energy and curiosity. Come what may.
In an interstellar blast, I'm back to save the universe! :)
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